100th Post!!! So why am I here?

This post marks the 100th post to the ole Observer! Yay!! Fireworks!! Explosions!! People flying through the Air!! YAY!!

So what's the point? Why am I here? I started this thing because my sister chided me into it. Pure and simple. The reason I keep coming back is because I enjoy writing. I love the idea of creation. I love to create something from nothing. Using only my head, a few fingers, and more than a little hard work and persistence, this site and my posts have lingered.

But the real reason I am here is not for the reader. I'm sorry to say that I don't write these things for you. I know how often I get visitors to my site, and I know they mostly come from the St. Louis Area, Connecticut, and Memphis. It's no secret that I don't have hundreds of readers, and that's ok. Like I said, I'm not here for you, I'm here for me.

You see, before this site came along, I would write very sporadically and often nothing meaningful. The little writing part of my brain just sat, unused. I worked on stories or scripts at various times, but never for any longer than a few hours every other week or so (if I was lucky). Now that I have this form of outlet and expression, that little writing corner of my brain has flourished. And it's made me realize that I love to write. I enjoy getting on here and putting thoughts to paper (or ones and zeros). It has been a great way to think about subjects that are close to my heart, and some that are nowhere near that personal.

I think you'll agree I hit a wide variety of topics. Things have been random. Things have been heated (even amongst myself) and things have been fun and a bit crazy. I've debated everything from girl scouts to absurd drive thru windows. I always try to be fair to my thoughts. I've done a bit of environmental hippie bashing and turned around and supported the current healthcare agenda. My topics range from one end of the spectrum to the other, and I love it.

And then there is my ongoing series, Classic Movie Monday. If there isn't anything going on, or if nothing is sparking my interest, there is always a classic movie to watch. This has been one of the real highlights for me in doing this whole web site thing. I've always had a love for film, but never really been thrilled with thought of watching the classics. I know there are hundreds if not thousands of important films to watch, and slowly I'm going to get to them all. As of this post, I have watched and reviewed 31 classic movies. Some I surprisingly hated, and others I found to be amazing. But every one is a film that I might never have watched otherwise, and I am better for it.

But the thing that makes doing this so great, is the moments like this. It makes me proud when I look back and see how much I've done in 10 months. I don't normally stroke myself, that's not my style, but I am very happy with the progress I've made. So now I pat myself on the back, *pat* *pat* and move on.

See you again after the next hundred!

Read more.

Sphere: Related Content

Out with it!

I'm going to do something a little unconventional for me and this site: I'm going to try and reach out to the you, the reader, for support. Not support like I need you to comment here, or I need you to email me, or to even respond at all. The kind of support I need is the simple idea of knowing that there are people out there who know what I want to do. That's it. I basically need to do an equivalent of "coming out," only without the homosexual aspect. So nobody could read this and I'll get all the support I need, crazy isn't it?

I'm going to let you in on what I am doing. I don't normally talk about my life on this site. Usually I either rant or review, or a combination of both. Never have I really opened up about my life and the things I keep close to the chest.

So first and foremost, I have come to the conclusion that my time in the service is up. I won't go into detail (we'll save that for another post, when it is behind me), but next April is the last of the Navy for me. It's been a long ride, one that I am more than ready to jump off of.

I have decided to finally embark on that great quest of getting a degree. Yeah. I'm so not excited (maybe a little). But it has been long enough and I've taken more than a short break from school. What was supposed to be a few years turned into almost a decade. Enough is enough. I'm here where I want to be (Southern California), and only a short drive away from where I want to go (UCLA). With the new GI bill taking effect this year, effectively paying 100% tuition as well as giving me living expenses for 3 years, now is the time.

I have a pretty good plan for the next few years and i can only hope it will be rewarding in a few ways, if not in every way. I've never been one to talk much about where I wanted to go, except in vagaries and possibilities. The truth is, I hate people who talk and don't act. So I've never been one to talk overly about my aspirations, mainly because I never knew if it would become reality. The last thing I would ever want to do is tell people I want to be a brain surgeon, and end up a General Practitioner. Weird, I know, but that's me. I like to be truthful but not cocky.

So imagine what it means when I come out with it. Oceans are moving. Tectonic plates are colliding.

To let you in a little bit, I've been working on one script for 5 years now. And it still isn't finished. Oh I'm close, but I have no doubt that the final product is so hob-scotched together that it would take another five years just to sort it out into a cohesive narrative.

Let's be honest, I'm not a screenwriter, and I'm not a filmmaker. Yet. All I've got is my instinct and barely any drive. But things have been happening in the past few months and weeks that have gotten me to a place where I feel like the unattainable is just within grasp. The act of deciding to take the jump out of the service has made an enormous impact on my thinking. Now, I actually have to get my butt in gear.

So I'm now faced with a difficult decision, my 72 page draft can be jettisoned or finished (shooting for 90 pages), but either way I pretty much have to start over. The challenges I now have in finishing it are greater than any problem I've faced with it yet.

I will be finishing it very quickly in a very short amount of time just to get it done and out of me. It would be nice to get out from under it. Not a day goes past that I don't think I should sit down and plod away on it, but as I said before, it really is a mess at this point. I basically started out writing one story and halfway through I changed some key things that in turn affect everything I've already written. In short: it needs some serious restructuring.

I am realistic. Believe me this thing is no where close to being anything readable by anyone but me. In years past I have doled out pieces to the closest people to me and only one person has read it all. I am private about it. It is killing me just to write this post and publish it for all my friends and family to see.

But I need pressure. I need to know that there is somebody out there that knows about my writing on this project. So rather than it being my unaccomplished secret, where i could easily sit on it for another 5 years, now at least, it is a known project.

So if you made it this far, thanks. And keep a look out for another update. If you don't hear about this again, than I'm full of hot air and I'll already be floating in the upper atmosphere.

So, in other words; you'll be hearing more.

Read more.

Sphere: Related Content